{"id":3405,"date":"2013-11-01T11:16:57","date_gmt":"2013-11-01T11:16:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spontaneousdevelopment.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=3405"},"modified":"2013-11-01T11:16:57","modified_gmt":"2013-11-01T11:16:57","slug":"how-to-tease-out-your-childs-genius-3-tips-on-how-to-be-a-coach-parent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/how-to-tease-out-your-childs-genius-3-tips-on-how-to-be-a-coach-parent\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Tease Out Your Child\u2019s Genius (3 Tips on how to be a \"coach-parent\")"},"content":{"rendered":"

Most people feel proud and inspired to do more, when something they do attracts genuine praise and\/or rewards from others. Children especially respond quite well to timely <\/strong>positive feedback. This article explains how you can make intelligent use of such feedback (as a \"coach-parent\"), to nurture your child\u2019s creative instincts, in a way that increases his\/her chances of success in life.<\/p>\n

1. Never Grow Tired of Marveling at Life\u2019s Discoveries <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Some adults wrongly assume that showing surprise or excitement at the sight or sound of something new will make them look \u201cun-cool\u201d or unsophisticated.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nothing could be further from the truth. <\/strong><\/p>\n

In reality, some of the world\u2019s most creative and innovative people are reputed to view the world with child like wonder, and innocence.<\/p>\n

They never got bored with expressing pleasant surprise, each time they made a new discovery. And that mental attitude is what fuels their desire to explore further!<\/p>\n

That leads them to tap into creative depths of their beings, to achieve uncommon feats - and very often, they infect others around them with their attitude.<\/p>\n

If you want to help your child as a parent, you need to adopt a similar mental attitude.<\/em><\/p>\n

2. Your Child\u2019s Genius Will Emerge if You Nurture It<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Children who achieve early self-discovery often have adults around them who habitually cheered them on, whenever they showed what they could do.<\/p>\n

What do you say when your 5 year old shows you something s\/he\u2019s scribbled on a cardboard?<\/p>\n

How do you react? And that includes your body language when you\u2019re tired, having just returned from a long, tiring day at work (?)<\/p>\n

Do you look at it and say \u201cThat\u2019s nice, baby!\u201d, and let him\/her go?<\/p>\n

Or do you - for instance - take it from him\/her, and then ask questions interestedly like: \u201cWow! Did you do all this yourself? That\u2019s great.Can you show me how you did it? Or \u201cWhy not do more and let me see?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

I know some parents \u201cooh\u201d and \u201caah\u201d over stuff their kids do in their formative years. <\/strong><\/p>\n

What I\u2019m saying here however goes beyond doing that, to actually using feedback to coach the child, right through his\/her teens to young adulthood.<\/p>\n

Subtle coaching and encouragement, injected at the right moment, can make a massive positive <\/strong>difference. <\/em><\/p>\n

The words you say to a ten year old who excitedly shows you what s\/he\u2019s built (like my son showed me his \u201chome made rechargeable lamp\u201d<\/a>) can trigger a life-long pursuit of self-discovery, and mastery.<\/p>\n

This is not about formal school work involving spending hours with the child, to pass on \"book knowledge\". <\/strong><\/p>\n

What I propose here is for the parent to provide real-world relevant \u201ccoaching<\/strong>\u201d to his\/her child. <\/em><\/p>\n

A coach will typically need minutes (sometimes even seconds!) at any point in time<\/a>, to help a child gain needed insights, to make progress.<\/p>\n

It's not how long the interaction lasts, but the QUALITY of interaction that occurs, that's important!<\/strong><\/p>\n

A \"coach-parent<\/strong>\" will help the child acquire insights that can lead to self-discovery, growth and ultimately, mastery!<\/p>\n

3. Anything that captures the imagination, stirs curiosity, excites (or gives pleasure to) a child can be used to coach him\/her.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

So, watch your child closely as often as possible.<\/p>\n

No matter how busy you are, start doing this as early as possible in your child\u2019s life. You\u2019ll need to be alert to the opportunities that will appear.<\/p>\n

Your success will depend on your ability to recognize and seize them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whenever you\u2019re around him\/her, and especially when you converse, watch for tell tale signs based on the guidelines outlined above. Use what you notice to guide what you say to his\/her.<\/p>\n

Your purpose will be to constantly challenge and encourage him\/her to create something new, unique or original, in as many ways as possible.And as often as possible.<\/p>\n

S\/he should feel no restriction in following his\/her interests or instincts in this regard.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Get him\/her to focus on creating something that solves a problem or serves a useful purpose. It could be handicraft, a mechanical contraption, or an electronic device. It could be even be a drawing, or a write-up (like this short HIV Aids \"awareness\" story written by my 14 year old boy) <\/a>.<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s original, and adds tangible value, let him\/her see you tell others how impressed you are!<\/em><\/h3>\n

Show it off to guests and friends at every opportunity.<\/p>\n

After a while, ask him\/her if s\/he\u2019s done something new i.e. don\u2019t let him\/her rest on his\/her oars. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Now, even if it\u2019s not <\/strong>a mind blowing creation, praise his\/her efforts, then tactfully suggest ways s\/he can do better.<\/em><\/p>\n

Over time, s\/he\u2019ll form the habit of continuous improvement, and his\/her \u201cgenius\u201d would emerge!<\/p>\n

Final Words<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This formula works, because humans love feedback delivered to them in a manner that inspires.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve successfully used it with young people in their teens and early twenties.<\/p>\n

Today, I get exciting parenting results with my kids<\/a> (who are aged between 4 and 14 years old).<\/em><\/p>\n

Become a \"coach-parent<\/strong>\". Use the 3 tips explained above, with your kids. When they enter the real world as adults, they WILL make YOU proud!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Most people feel proud and inspired to do more, when something they do attracts genuine praise and\/or rewards from others. Children especially respond quite well to timely positive feedback. This article explains how you can make intelligent use of such feedback (as a \"coach-parent\"), to nurture your child\u2019s creative instincts, in a way that increases […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[266,87,10],"tags":[840,842,843,841],"class_list":["post-3405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-dn-travel-news","category-parenting","category-self-development","tag-become-a-coach-parent","tag-schooling-is-not-enough","tag-what-your-child-needs-to-discover-her-genius","tag-why-you-need-to-coach-your-child"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1013,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3405"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3406,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405\/revisions\/3406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}