{"id":2515,"date":"2013-05-31T19:42:14","date_gmt":"2013-05-31T19:42:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spontaneousdevelopment.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=2515"},"modified":"2013-06-01T07:30:34","modified_gmt":"2013-06-01T07:30:34","slug":"should-you-worry-if-your-child-never-gets-in-trouble-4-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/should-you-worry-if-your-child-never-gets-in-trouble-4-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Should You Worry If Your Child NEVER Gets In Trouble? (4 Tips)"},"content":{"rendered":"

What I propose in this piece is likely to be a bit controversial. But you probably already know I have no problems voicing my opinion<\/a> \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Read this article with an open mind and you will see the point I\u2019m making.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve explained in past articles that intelligent mistake making<\/a> is an effective way to learn. <\/em>It is also my experience based opinion, that the best time to learn is when your failures result in minimal damage.<\/p>\n

And one such period is during childhood.<\/em><\/p>\n

1. Succeeding In the Real World Requires Strength of Character<\/strong><\/h3>\n

My failures (and they are MANY!!<\/strong>) as an entrepreneur<\/strong>, convince me I\u2019m right about this.<\/p>\n

These devastating failures came despite the fact that I\u2019d excelled academically right through university\u2026and also enjoyed rapid career advancement for 7 years as a well paid, high performing manager in a large multinational.<\/p>\n

But one thing saved me during those periods of severe trials and tribulations. <\/em><\/p>\n

It was the mental toughness\/character I formed in my teens. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Without it, this daily Self-Development Nuggets blog<\/a> or my weekly speaking IDEAS newsletter<\/a> would not exist. Neither would my books<\/a>, custom Excel-VB spreadsheet software<\/a>, Web Marketing Systems<\/a> development service, YouTube educational\/demonstration videos<\/a>, or Cost-Saving Farm Business Support Service<\/a>.<\/p>\n

My point is: <\/strong>I\u2019m just one guy. But for over 2 decades, people have asked me how I manage to do many different things so well - and at the same time - with seemingly endless<\/strong> passion.<\/p>\n

If truth be told, it has to do with a decision I took early in life, due to a crisis I suffered (See 2. below).<\/em><\/p>\n

And that is why I\u2019m convinced getting in trouble early in life can be VERY<\/strong> useful preparation, for succeeding - in spite of adversity - in adult life.<\/p>\n

2. How Getting In Trouble Helped Me Develop Strength of Character (True Story)<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I started getting into trouble very early - before I clocked 10 years e.g by stealing money from my mother\u2019s purse, and pieces of meat from her pot. I eventually got caught and punished.<\/p>\n

At the age of 10, in my first secondary school year, I stupidly<\/strong> let four older classmates copy my answer scripts (and they did so verbatim!) in the promotional exams. We got caught and asked to repeat the year. <\/strong><\/p>\n

My parents moved me to boarding school, in another state (six hours away), to start over. <\/em><\/p>\n

I did well right into my final year \u2013 and even got appointed Health Prefect.<\/p>\n

Then I got into trouble again\u2026.and was suspended for 2 weeks! <\/strong><\/p>\n

I (along with another prefect, and others) skipped classes. Then we caught, roasted and ate bush rats (and even chickens reared by teaching staff \u2013 including the principal\u2019s) \u2013 in the dormitory<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

We got suspended just a few months to the final certification exams. <\/em><\/p>\n

Thankfully, I passed the exams, due in no small way to a threat by my Dad.<\/strong> He basically said that was the only<\/strong> way I could get his forgiveness.<\/p>\n

Facing the consequences of my actions forced me to toughen up mentally.<\/p>\n

Knowing others are whispering about what you\u2019ve done can be painful. I loathed myself!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

While serving my 2 week suspension, I resolved never to let myself feel that way again. That decision has since helped me overcome many great temptations<\/strong> in my adult life (no exaggeration<\/strong>).<\/p>\n

3. A Child Who Never Gets In Trouble: Is That a Good or Bad Thing? <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Real character is formed \u2013 and tested - through exposure to challenges.<\/p>\n

It may be hard to accept, but getting in trouble is one of the most effective ways for kids to learn what not to do.<\/strong> And as long as they are repentant, kids who get into trouble often turn out okay.<\/p>\n

Many even tend to mature into better <\/strong>rounded adults, than those who don\u2019t get into trouble. <\/em><\/p>\n

If you think back to your own childhood, you may probably recall it was the same for you. <\/strong><\/p>\n

A child who gets into trouble, give us an opportunity to peek into his\/her true tendencies.<\/p>\n

As a parent (and I always tell my kids this), I prefer a child who periodically gets into trouble, to one who never<\/strong> does. <\/em><\/p>\n

Sounds crazy I know, but it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

Reflecting on my personal experiences and studying others makes me believe this.<\/p>\n

A child who NEVER gives problems can be a time-bomb waiting to explode in adulthood. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I'm not saying a child who does not get into trouble<\/strong> will end up badly. No.<\/strong> <\/em>But s\/he may<\/strong> end up lacking <\/strong>the capacity - and competence<\/strong> - to deal with adversity in adulthood<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

It is also my considered opinion, that the parent of a child who does <\/strong>get into trouble, if attentive<\/strong>, can gain useful insights<\/strong> into what the child will or will not do<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And that can be useful.<\/p>\n

4. How You React As a Parent Is Very Important<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Smart parents will use the opportunity to mould their child\u2019s evolving character. <\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what my parents did for me, with the feedback they gave me each time I went wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s why I\u2019m already doing the same thing for my kids \u2013 starting with my 14 year old son.<\/p>\n

Do the same for your kids. Avoid excessively rebuking<\/strong> (or worse, condemning<\/strong>) them.<\/p>\n

If you check properly, it\u2019s likely that some people in living history have done similar (or worse) things, and still gone on to noteworthy achievements in life.<\/p>\n

So, when your child gets into trouble, aim to help him\/her do the same.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At the end of the day, that\u2019s really what life is all about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What I propose in this piece is likely to be a bit controversial. But you probably already know I have no problems voicing my opinion \ud83d\ude42 Read this article with an open mind and you will see the point I\u2019m making. I\u2019ve explained in past articles that intelligent mistake making is an effective way to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[266,87],"tags":[413,415,414,416],"class_list":["post-2515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-dn-travel-news","category-parenting","tag-juvenile-delinquency","tag-raising-your-child-successfully","tag-teenage-problems","tag-why-it-may-be-good-for-your-child-to-periodically-get-into-trouble"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1428,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2515","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2515"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2515\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2519,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2515\/revisions\/2519"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}