{"id":2106,"date":"2013-03-23T09:02:33","date_gmt":"2013-03-23T09:02:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spontaneousdevelopment.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=2106"},"modified":"2013-03-23T09:02:33","modified_gmt":"2013-03-23T09:02:33","slug":"have-you-ever-received-or-written-a-get-lost-auto-response","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/have-you-ever-received-or-written-a-get-lost-auto-response\/","title":{"rendered":"Have You Ever Received (or Written) A Get Lost \u201cAuto-Response\u201d?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Personally, I prefer to call it a \u201cGet Lost Response\u201d \u2013 because sometimes such messages actually get sent by a conscious human being! I didn\u2019t coin the expression in the title though. It\u2019s what a well known online entrepreneur called them in a book I read. I\u2019ve received a number myself in the past. And my case is probably peculiar since not even one<\/em><\/strong> was automated: They were all typed and sent by a thinking<\/em> human being\u2026sigh.<\/p>\n

In Case You\u2019ve Never Seen One, I Offer an Example<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I once sent a copy of a new e-book of mine to a list of carefully selected email addresses belonging to mostly top bloggers in the niche for the e-book\u2019s topic. I basically asked if they would be able to find time to read and possibly offer comments, ratings or reviews of the book that I could use in promoting it.<\/p>\n

In exchange I offered to write a guest post on the same theme \u2013 or any theme within my areas of specialization \u2013 that each of them preferred. The responses came \u2013 some took a while. A few gave me useful feedback. But no one said YES.<\/p>\n

However, one person who I had actually been in touch with before sent a reply that basically said :<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGreat to see you\u2019re doing XYZ. But I\u2019m way too busy to ever have time to read your book. I have too many clients waiting to get my attention you see!\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Now that,<\/strong> was a Get Lost Response \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

The Sender\u2019s Purpose is Often to \u201cPut Down\" The Recipient<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yep. That\u2019s what it boils down to ultimately. The sender aims to putting the recipient back in (what the former considers the latter\u2019s) place i.e. down, below, or beneath \u2013 certainly not at the level of an equal!).<\/p>\n

In essence, the sender is asking \"how you dare even think you qualify to write directly to me, talk less of actually getting an answer<\/em>?\"<\/p>\n

In other words, it\u2019s an undisguised put down, if there ever was one.<\/p>\n

I said the sender's purpose is \u201coften\u201d to put down the recepient - but not \u201calways\u201d. And it's true. Some people don\u2019t really mean to be rude. They just never stop long enough to think. But the effect is the same \u2013 and therefore each person must make the effort to think carefully about the potential impact of a message before sending it<\/strong>. <\/em><\/p>\n

It goes without saying, of course, that my self-esteem is simply too well developed to let such a silly act by a small minded person get to me. If anything, it proves a sender possesses a less developed mind<\/strong> than one would expect from someone of his stature. Even if I\u2019m busy, that\u2019s not enough reason to send a tactless message to someone who takes the time to write you.<\/p>\n

In fact, I would argue that it would be better to not <\/strong>send a response at all, than to send one that screams \u201cGet Lost, Loser!\u201d<\/em> But then that <\/strong>is just my <\/em>opinion. Compared to the \u201cfamous\u201d email sender with poor manners, it probably counts for nothing.<\/p>\n

Use People Who Behave Badly, To Learn How NOT To Behave<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Back when I worked in paid employment, I learnt to use the bad conduct of some mangers to guard against becoming a bad manager like them myself.<\/p>\n

Without the opportunity to watch them misbehave, I would never have foreseen the potential pitfalls that can derail a person\u2019s career. And so, for that reason, I was grateful I got to know them.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s also why I\u2019m grateful I\u2019ve come across these people who send \u201cGet Lost Responses\u201d<\/em> too \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Understand that it\u2019s not the \u201crejection\u201d that saying NO implies that I am concerned with here. Instead, it is the manner in which the NO is said. You can say NO, and leave the \u201chearer\u201d feeling unoffended \u2013 even feeling good! - about herself.<\/p>\n

In some ways, the following definition of Diplomacy illustrates the above point:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDiplomacy is the ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a nice way that he looks forward to the trip.\u201d - Anon<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, why not be diplomatic in the above sense? If you can\u2019t sincerely \u201cfeel\u201d compassion and consideration, at least respond with diplomacy and tact.<\/p>\n

Incidentally, doing so could save you future pain and embarrassment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For instance, how can you be sure that person<\/em> will not become more famous\/successful than you in future? Who knows, one day in the future, she could be in a position to give an opinion about you \u2013 or to comment on your suitability as a role model \u00a0- to persons in decision making positions (e.g. a company thinking of having you endorse its products).<\/p>\n

If she chooses to be ungracious or vindictive, you could end up looking bad. See how you can potentially shoot yourself in the foot by being rude and tactless? Not worth it I\u2019d say.<\/p>\n

How You Treat People You Don\u2019t \u201cNeed\u201d Shows Who You Really Are<\/strong><\/h3>\n

But even if there can be no negative outcomes for sending a \"Get Lost Response\", doing so says a lot about who you are.<\/p>\n

Having said the above, I do not delude myself. I realize that some of those reading this <\/em>post may also be people who send Get Lost responses<\/em>, and probably always<\/em><\/strong> feel justified doing so.<\/p>\n

Well, welcome to you \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n

My hope is however that you will find (or have found), in this article, something to make you modify your approach, and deal with people with more consideration from today.<\/p>\n

Even on the World Wide Web, simple courtesy and good manners still matter \u2013 at least in my personal opinion!<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.\u201d \u2013 James D. Miles<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Personally, I prefer to call it a \u201cGet Lost Response\u201d \u2013 because sometimes such messages actually get sent by a conscious human being! I didn\u2019t coin the expression in the title though. It\u2019s what a well known online entrepreneur called them in a book I read. I\u2019ve received a number myself in the past. And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[103],"tags":[257,255,256],"class_list":["post-2106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writingblogging","tag-the-importance-of-good-manners-and-simple-courtesy","tag-what-is-a-get-lost-autoresponse","tag-why-you-need-to-be-polite-and-considerate"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1602,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2106"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2108,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2106\/revisions\/2108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}