{"id":1526,"date":"2012-12-31T15:03:53","date_gmt":"2012-12-31T15:03:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spontaneousdevelopment.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=1526"},"modified":"2013-01-01T09:15:22","modified_gmt":"2013-01-01T09:15:22","slug":"manage-your-relationships-smarter-to-succeed-better","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/manage-your-relationships-smarter-to-succeed-better\/","title":{"rendered":"Manage Your Relationships Smarter, To Succeed Better!"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s the last day of the year today. In this final issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter for 2012, I discuss the importance of managing your relationships, to boost your chances of speaking success.<\/p>\n

Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications or even talent or natural abilities matter. But most crucial to your success in ANY area of endeavour - including paid public speaking - will be your mental attitude! And THAT can often be directly affected by what you see and hear around you.<\/p>\n

Consider this quote:<\/p>\n

SCROLL DOWN TO READ THE FULL ISSUE<\/strong><\/H3><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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\"View<\/span><\/a>\"Connect<\/a>\"Connect<\/a>\"Connect<\/a>\"Connect<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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Publication:<\/strong>\u00a0Tayo Solagbade's Weekly Public Speaking IDEAS Page (PSIP)<\/strong> Newsletter<\/p>\n

Date:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>Monday 31st December 2012<\/p>\n

No:<\/strong> 70<\/p>\n

Title: <\/strong>Manage Your Relationships Smarter, To Succeed Better!<\/p>\n

Author & Publisher:<\/strong>\u00a0Tayo K. Solagbade [234-803-302-1263<\/a><\/strong>]<\/p>\n

Blog URL:<\/strong>\u00a0http:\/\/www.spontaneousdevelopment.com\/blog<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Archive (For E-mail only version started 14th May 2012): <\/strong>Click here to view<\/a><\/p>\n

Archive (For Blog version started 24th September 2011):<\/strong> <\/span>Click here<\/a><\/p>\n

Hi,<\/span><\/p>\n

Please find below <\/span>the latest issue of my weekly Public Speaking Ideas page for 2012.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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SD Nuggets Blog<\/strong>\u2122<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

New posts from last week that may interest you! <\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Public Speaking<\/p>\n

[Monday]<\/span>:<\/strong><\/span><\/td>\n

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Entrepreneurship [Tuesday]<\/span>:<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

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Self Development [Wednesday<\/span>]:<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

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Career Development [Thursday<\/span>]:<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

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Parenting [Friday<\/span>]: <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

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Writing\/Blogging [Saturday<\/span>]: <\/strong><\/span><\/td>\n\n
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Want me to write for you?<\/strong> Click here... <\/a><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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\"Click<\/a><\/h3>\n

Get The NEW Excel-VB Ration Formulator! <\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n

All existing owners get FREE Updgrade(terms apply) : <\/strong>Happy New Year in advance to you all. This new version has additional error handling.<\/p>\n

And it allows you to store 3 RATION FORMULAS you derive for easy future retrieval<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

By 16th January 2012 the price goes up to N12,500. <\/strong><\/p>\n

You can still get it for N10,500 (with my Feed Formulation Handbook) - here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

No. 70: <\/span> <\/strong>Manage Your Relationships Smarter, To Succeed Better! <\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

**** ****<\/strong><\/em>******<\/strong><\/p>\n

NB: <\/strong>If you ever find yourself wondering what else I've written, some days after you've read THIS Speaking Ideas newsletter I send out on a Monday, here's what you can do to find out:<\/strong><\/em> Point your browser to www.sdacademy.org<\/a> to read at least ONE new post added to my SD Nuggets blog<\/strong> on a different category from Tuesday till Saturday (sometimes even Sundays) in line with this publishing schedule<\/a> \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n

****<\/strong><\/em>******<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the last day of the year today. In this final issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter for 2012, I discuss the importance of managing your relationships, to boost your chances of speaking success.<\/p>\n

Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications or even talent or natural abilities matter. But most crucial to your success in ANY area of endeavour - including paid public speaking - will be your mental attitude! And THAT can often be directly affected by what you see and hear around you.<\/p>\n

Consider this quote:<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n
\"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence; Talent will not; nothing is more
\ncommon than unsuccessful individuals with talent. Genius will not; the world is full of
\neducated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent<\/strong>\u201d - Ray Kroc (Founder of McDonalds)<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The truth is you REALLY need to pay serious attention to anything that can affect your state of mind \u2013 an important example being your relationships with others<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

You May Have What It Takes To Succeed - But Your Relationships Can Hold You Back<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s possible you have all the attributes required of a good <\/strong>speaker. And that if - under normal circumstances - you found yourself before the right audience, you would WOW them with your performance.<\/p>\n

But you have to find the client willing to pay you to speak first don't you? <\/strong><\/p>\n

Are you going about it the right way? Who are those you spend time with? Are you able to get good advice from them, to help you along (like a tested and proven mentor would give<\/a>)? Would you be willing to keep going for as long as may be necessary to find the clients you need? <\/em><\/p>\n

And what about when you finally win that paid speaking invitation? What if on the VERY day you have to speak, someone upsets you before you leave home?<\/p>\n

Maybe your spouse says something nasty that REALLY gets to you. I mean REEALLLY NAASSTY, that you have to go away to calm yourself down :-)))<\/p>\n

Or maybe it's not your spouse.<\/p>\n

Maybe someone runs into you from behind as you're driving to the venue of your speaking event :-)))))))<\/p>\n

Yet you have to speak in a few hours from then, at an important event!<\/p>\n

How well would you handle yourself out there? Would you be able to deliver at your best?<\/p>\n

What can you do to PREVENT such a thing happening to you, and potentially messing up your big opportunity?<\/p>\n

I say the key is to control the relationships you have with others.<\/p>\n

Thomas Alva Edison \u2013 the great inventor - when asked for advice about success did not talk about mastering scientific principles.<\/p>\n

Instead he said:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cGenius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

Edison did not say manifesting genius required a high IQ, a university degree or some other unique academic qualification. Instead he recommended 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. <\/em><\/p>\n

Considering that this great man was home-schooled by his mother, it goes without saying that one would be wise to believe his words!<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why: <\/strong><\/p>\n

According to an online biography I read some years back, when he was in school, Edison\u2019s teachers concluded he was \u201caddled\u201d (a term used derogatorily to mean a person\u2019s brain was not functioning normally).<\/p>\n

Thankfully his mother refused to accept what they told her, and angrily withdrew him from school, to tutor him at home.<\/p>\n

If she had agreed with those \"lazy minded\" teachers, we probably would not have Edison's 1091 inventions with us today \u2013 including the light bulb and electricity!<\/p>\n

The above illustrates an example of a beneficial association between a child and an adult \u2013 in this case, the parent.<\/em><\/p>\n

But others have it the other way round. At least Edison's mother believed in him. Those closest people to us can sometimes be the greatest unbelievers<\/span> in our abilities.<\/p>\n

Some successful people failed to get support from home, and actually found total strangers more willing to believe in them!<\/p>\n

Cynthia Kersey (Author of UNSTOPPABLE 45 Powerful Stories of Perseverance and Triumph from People Just like You<\/strong>) wisely noted in her book, that sometimes the negative - unbelieving - person in your life may be someone you cannot eliminate.<\/p>\n

A good example is your spouse or father\/mother\/sibling!<\/p>\n

When you share your dream of speaking success, they may feel they\u2019ve known you for so long that nothing you say you\u2019re trying to do can improve on the blunders they\u2019ve seen you make in the past.<\/p>\n

As Kersey noted, the saying that a prophet is without honour in his own home is relevant here.<\/p>\n

If you have the mental capacity to deal with that kind of situation, and still get on competently with your work, then there\u2019s probably nothing to worry about. <\/em><\/p>\n

However, if you feel staying exposed to such persons will significantly affect your state of mind, take action to limit your contact with them.<\/p>\n

This is not the time to be needlessly sentimental. It\u2019s your life we\u2019re talking about here!<\/strong><\/p>\n

You have every right to make the most of your God-given ability. Letting some insensitive person toy with your feelings and ruin your enthusiasm for pursuing your dream is simply not acceptable.<\/p>\n

I Was Ridiculed For Thinking I Could Sell My Excel Software<\/a> \u2013 BEFORE<\/span> I Started Doing It!<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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\u201cIt\u2019s not enough to be competent or qualified; you must also have the right mental attitude to deal successfully with the challenges\/difficulties that will come up when you are engaged in your chosen endeavour.<\/strong> \u201c \u2013 Tayo K. Solagbade<\/em><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Towards the end of 2004, I had a painfully raw experience of being used as the butt end of jokes - to my face - over an ambitious goal I\u2019d set for myself.<\/p>\n

A friend of the family \u2013 who had worked for years as a self-employed IT professional \u2013 heard I was visiting at the office of a relative and stopped over.<\/p>\n

Within minutes of arriving, he began making jokes about my expressed intention of developing software solutions using MS Excel that people would pay for<\/a>.<\/p>\n

When I explained that I believed I could get paid N100, 000 for an app I was showing my relative a demo for, he said \u201cTayo, we must sell this your software O\u2026we must!\u201d. <\/em><\/strong>H<\/em>e repeatedly said this in a mocking tone, bursting into laughter intermittently (and joined by others who sat around \u2013 including my relative, and his employee).<\/p>\n

You can imagine how that \"demonstration\" ended for me...:-)<\/p>\n

But today it\u2019s on record that I\u2019ve been paid twice that amount by companies, to develop custom spreadsheet software for them.<\/p>\n

Like Napoleon Hill noted, people sometimes resort to tactless attempts at humour without considering the impact on the person it is directed against. That singular experience NEVER left my memory. And I successfully used it to push myself to achieve a breakthrough.<\/p>\n

Today, I have literally single handedly created a niche for myself as a provider of custom Built-In Excel solutions in Nigeria.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s more, I have also achieved name recognition as the developer of certain unique Excel-VB driven spreadsheet software products e.g. my popular Livestock Ration Formulator<\/a> (built to facilitate automated computation of livestock rations based on the Pearson Square Computation method described in my popular Feed Formulation Handbook<\/a>) and my Payslip Generator<\/a> respectively.<\/p>\n

Both applications have been purchased by individuals and organizations across the country - and in the case of the former (i.e. the feed formulation software), by international buyers.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s possible the family friend who mocked me now realizes how wrong he was.<\/p>\n

But whether that will be enough to stop him from treating someone else the same way in future is however a different matter.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s why it\u2019s important for people who set challenging goals for themselves, to adopt what James Cook called a \u201cguiding philosophy\u201d that will help them persist no matter what obstacles they encounter.<\/p>\n

Get this:<\/strong> All your degrees and certifications will NOT help you deal with the potentially crippling psychological\/emotional effects of mockery, ridicule, and repeated setbacks. You need to \"protect\" your state of mind, by controlling the environments (relationships with others) you expose yourself to.<\/p>\n

Who Do YOU Spend Your Quality Time With?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\n

Demand integrity from all associates. Would you go sailing in a leaky boat? Would you drive on a tire that would not hold air? Then, steel yourself: In cold blood dump unworthy others. <\/strong>\u2013 Burt Dubin<\/a> (Internationally acclaimed mentor of some of the world's highest paid speaking professionals) <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This self-examination must begin from your homes \u2013 those closest to you. Your spouse - and kids if any. Then the larger family comprising siblings, parents, uncles, aunts, half-siblings, grandparents and so on.<\/p>\n

Next we have your friends, coworkers, and former colleagues, as well as business associates, partners - and also neighbours!<\/p>\n

Which of these groups of people do you spend your quality time with? And how do you feel AFTER you\u2019ve been with them? <\/em><\/p>\n

Do you come away feeling more excited and rearing to give your set goals another go? Or are you left reeling from exposure to multiple put downs or outright ridicule of your ideas and ambitions.<\/p>\n

Maybe you find yourself drained of enthusiasm from being told by some that it\u2019s taking you too long to \u201csucceed\u201d \u2013 and that you need to pack it in and do something else.<\/p>\n

Note those who leave you with negative feelings. Or those who refuse to respect your need to create time to pursue your valued goals.<\/p>\n

Resolve to spend less time with them.<\/p>\n

In my case, I resolved to keep my distance from all those who\u2019d been involved in making fun of me about my Excel-VB software development. I knew from past experience that THAT was the only way to keep my mind free from distractions, discouraging thoughts and doubts.<\/em><\/p>\n

However, sometimes your circumstances may limit the options open to you. And you may have to endure remaining in contact that negative person for longer than you want.<\/p>\n

For instance it may be difficult to avoid contact with your spouse if you live together!<\/strong><\/p>\n

In that case, you may find reading books that nurture your self-belief (like Napoleon Hill\u2019s Think and Grow Rich) very useful.<\/p>\n

Anytime you\u2019re feeling deflated, pick up that book and read, and I guarantee you\u2019ll soon feel better \u2013 and rearing to go again!<\/p>\n

Final Words<\/h3>\n

Let me summarise as follows: <\/strong><\/p>\n

Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications and status matter. But most crucial for achieving success in ANY area of endeavour - including paid public speaking - will be your mental attitude!<\/strong><\/p>\n

And THAT can often be directly affected by what you see and hear around you.<\/p>\n

Therefore your RELATIONSHIPS matter very greatly!<\/p>\n

When you see and hear <\/strong>people dismiss your ideas, it can have a lasting negative impact<\/strong> on your mental attitude. Your academic degrees, certifications, and talents will STILL be yours. But you'll find yourself feeling <\/strong>LESS capable of succeeding!<\/p>\n

You do NOT have to let that happen. Don't let others impose their limitations on you. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Give yourself the best possible shot at speaking success in the New Year: <\/strong>Adopt proven strategies \u2013 like those shared above - and start managing your relationships smarter from today!<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s wishing you a happy and truly prosperous New Year in advance!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Tayo K. Solagbade*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Self-Development\/Performance Improvement Specialist<\/strong><\/p>\n

*Sole Agent For\u00a0<\/em>Burt Dubin's Speaker Mentoring Service<\/span><\/a><\/em> In Africa<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Mobile:<\/strong> 234-803-302-1263<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.spontaneousdevelopment.com<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Tayo Solagbade is a Performance Improvement Specialist & multipreneur<\/strong>. He works with individuals\/businesses who want to achieve highly profitable outcomes, and also with parents who want to raise real-world competent children. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Tayo earns multiple streams of income providing clients with performance improvement training\/coaching<\/a>, custom MS Excel-VB<\/a> solutions, web marketing<\/a> systems, freelance writing services<\/a>, and best practice extension support services<\/a> (for farm business owners).<\/p>\n

When he\u2019s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his\u00a0Self-Development Nuggets\u2122 blog<\/a><\/strong>, and\u00a0Public Speaking IDEAS newsletter<\/a>\u00a0(which he publishes to promote Burt Dubin's Public Speaking Mentoring service to experts working across the African continent).<\/p>\n

==================<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Have you been undecided about whether or not to become a paid speaker? <\/span><\/strong>Or have you been trying to get your speaking career off the ground with little success?<\/span> <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Here\u2019s a tip: <\/strong>Burt Dubin<\/a> works with people who want to be speakers, and with speakers who want to be masters. Click here<\/a> to visit his website NOW and submit a contact form message telling him what challenges you\u2019re facing, and how you\u2019d like him to help you. Tell him I sent you, and you\u2019ll get a pleasant surprise offer from him<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Comments?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

What do you think of the above message? Do you have any personal experience to share on this subject? Are there some other points you feel can be added, to help persons looking for answers? Please share your thoughts!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share this issue! <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Do you know anyone who might benefit from reading this newsletter issue? Why not hit the forward button now, and send it to him\/her with a short recommendation. You can also use share it via your social media channels. Thanks in advance.<\/p>\n

\"View<\/span><\/a>\"Connect<\/a>\"Connect<\/a>\"Connect<\/a>\"Connect<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What fears or doubts are keeping you from (a) <\/span>taking up Burt Dubin's monthly speaker mentoring, or (b) <\/span>buying his products?<\/h3>\n

You can choose to purchase Burt's mentoring at any of the three (3) levels listed below:<\/h3>\n

1.<\/strong> Top Shelf <\/strong>[Click here<\/a>] | <\/strong> 2.<\/strong> Mid Range<\/strong> [Click here<\/a>] | <\/strong> 3. Budget Delight<\/strong> [Click here<\/a>]<\/h3>\n

Burt's three mentoring packages can be likened to the seating options offered by airlines: Budget Delight (Economy); Mid Range (Business); and Top Shelf (First Class).<\/p>\n

At least that's how I like to think of them!<\/em><\/p>\n

All three will get you to your desired destination of \"speaking success-ville\" <\/strong>- so long as you meet the requirements\/play your part well (your fare, abide by the set guidelines etc). During the \"flight\", the seat you have will determine how much personal service attention and preference the provider will accord you. It's that simple \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

So, make your choice:1.<\/strong> Top Shelf <\/strong>[Click here<\/a>] | <\/strong> 2.<\/strong> Mid Range<\/strong> [Click here<\/a>] | <\/strong> 3. Budget Delight<\/strong> [Click here<\/a>]<\/p>\n

Send me an e-mail with your questions via\u00a0tayo at tksola dot com<\/strong>. In the meantime, why not get started by subscribing\u00a0here<\/a>\u00a0to get his\u00a07-Part\u00a0Course (How To Succeed And Get Paid As A Professional Speaker)\u00a0.\u00a0\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0<\/strong>and\u00a0receive\u00a0his\u00a0monthly newsletter (Speaking Biz Strategies Letter)<\/strong>\u00a0at no cost.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
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\"Get<\/a><\/p>\n

For over 25 years,\u00a0Burt Dubin<\/a>\u00a0has provided a variety of speaker mentoring products and services to clients worldwide.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Download this flyer as PDF: <\/span><\/strong>http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/bdubin-africa<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Burt<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s the last day of the year today. In this final issue of my Speaking IDEAS newsletter for 2012, I discuss the importance of managing your relationships, to boost your chances of speaking success. Your eloquence, qualifications, certifications or even talent or natural abilities matter. But most crucial to your success in ANY area of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[112],"tags":[115,193,194,117],"class_list":["post-1526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-public-speaking","tag-burt-dubin","tag-managing-your-relationships","tag-speaking-business-success","tag-speaking-success"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1769,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1526","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1526"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1526\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1528,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1526\/revisions\/1528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1526"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1526"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1526"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}