{"id":1161,"date":"2012-11-07T21:41:28","date_gmt":"2012-11-07T21:41:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spontaneousdevelopment.com\/sdnuggets\/?p=1161"},"modified":"2012-11-07T22:03:34","modified_gmt":"2012-11-07T22:03:34","slug":"is-it-right-to-do-wrong-so-as-to-fulfill-family-obligations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/is-it-right-to-do-wrong-so-as-to-fulfill-family-obligations\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It RIGHT To Do Wrong, So As To Fulfill FAMILY Obligations?"},"content":{"rendered":"

[This post is based on excerpts from an original piece that was published online by Tayo Solagbade as a PDF download on his Facebook profile<\/a> on 9th May 2012<\/strong>]<\/p>\n

No. Under NO circumstances is it right, to do wrong, in order to fulfill one's obligations<\/u><\/em>. Any thinking being knows this<\/strong>. Yet, some do it.<\/p>\n

I elaborate below, and offer some insights<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Over the past ten years, I have come across what appears to be an increasing number of people (adults) who are prepared to completely<\/strong> discount their morals and values, if doing so will secure material and financial gratification they seek.<\/p>\n

The Values System I Was Raised To Uphold Is The Opposite<\/h3>\n

Recently, I posted the following on my Facebook wall:<\/p>\n

\n

======
\n WARPED VALUES:<\/em><\/strong>To prove he is a man<\/strong>, he joins in the un-godly (and dishonest) practices of giving bribes, issuing inflated invoices etc, to win jobs. When his \"friend\" tells him it's not right, he retorts that it's impossible to beat the corrupt system - AND <\/strong>that he will not let himself be thought of as being incapable<\/strong> of providing for his family. Yet, he tells his kids: <\/strong>\"With God, All Things Are Possible!<\/em>\" - and routinely makes them attend religious worship with him.
\n ====== <\/p><\/blockquote><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The above is based on my personal experiences and observations. Many people who ordinarily would never have stooped to corruption, were driven to it because of the kind of reasoning stated above.<\/em> <\/p>\n

In many cases, their spouses got to a point, at which they could no longer endure the hardship arising from their husbands trying to stay honest and upright in their business dealings. <\/strong><\/p>\n

So the wives began to pressure them, by pointing out how others were doing it, and getting on quite well. Eventually, the husbands succumbed and joined the growing army of irresponsible monsters who now do almost anything<\/strong> to get money, even if it means denying<\/strong> others what is theirs, in the process<\/u><\/em>.<\/p>\n

Nothing I'm Saying Here Is New... <\/h3>\n

Tunde Fagbenle, the Sunday Punch Newspaper Columnist regularly provides entertaining references that prove what I'm saying is true. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Crooked minded and lazy people now exist in the majority in certain climes, and naturally want things done their way. Any person they discover to be unwilling to play the game instantly becomes a threat <\/strong>that must be neutralized<\/em>. So, they setup a system that greatly minimizes the chances that non-conformists can make meaningful headway in society, unless they join the party.<\/p>\n

For the single or unmarried individuals, the challenge tends to be less traumatizing. However, for those who are married, and some who even have kids to provide for, this situation presents a formidable obstacle.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How do you explain to your wife, that your kids will not be able to eat or attend school, because your unwillingness to bribe or over invoice your way to win contracts, means you will not earn enough<\/strong> to meet those obligations?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What do you do, when your child is ill<\/strong> and badly in need of medication, at a time when your long overdue payment from a client company, is being delayed, because you refused to grease the palm of the man to release the payment?<\/p>\n

Will your spouse understand<\/em><\/strong> why you can no longer accept insultingly low payments offered by exploitative clients - even when she badly <\/strong>needs cash to sustain the home front?<\/em><\/p>\n

How do you carry on, when - for instance - your spouse constantly rains insults <\/strong>on you for being incapable of meeting your financial obligations as a husband and father? <\/p>\n

Since you are not prepared to give in to such corrupt demands, what do you do, when you appeal to your wife to consider taking up a job to help out, and she says: <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

\n
\"Are you not ashamed of yourself - look at your next door neighbor. His wife does not work, and he provides for her and the kids they have. And you are here telling me I need to get a job. You cannot be serious. Who do you want to use as a slave. When you could not feed yourself, why did you get married?\"<\/em><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

What You Need To Know - And Do <\/h3>\n

I do not know what you're going through. But I have heard all kinds of silly logic being adduced by otherwise well educated and intelligent people who feel they cannot endure hardship any longer<\/strong>. <\/p>\n

All because they are afraid to act with faith and resist the advances of unscrupulous elements that create chaos, in order to profit from it.<\/p>\n

If you believe that the creator exists and will always support good over evil<\/strong>, I offer you the following philosophies that guide and immunize me against long term negative effects of adversity in ANY form. As a result, regardless of what channels it comes at me from, I stay focused and driven to achieve my set goals. <\/p>\n

1. REAL SUCCESS IS BASED ON INTEGRITY:<\/strong> As long as I am not lazy, and I work hard, intelligently and honestly, to achieve my set goals on a daily basis, I will succeed, little by little.<\/p>\n

2. FAITH WILL SUSTAIN YOU:<\/strong> No matter what anyone says to my face or behind my back, I alone<\/strong> determine what will happen in my life, by focusing on acting with faith that the creator will see me through. <\/p>\n

My perspective on faith is that it is NOT a religious thing<\/u><\/em>. It is not some exclusive preserve of a particular religious movement. Faith can be practiced by ANY living being<\/strong>. I have used it many times, with great success.<\/p>\n

3. GOOD THINGS THAT LAST, RARELY COME QUICKLY:<\/strong> My success may not come quickly. I may have to take baby steps, one at a time. And it might look like it's taking too long.\u00a0 However, as long as I'm NOT walking backwards, my success is inevitable<\/em>. No one can stop me. Period! <\/p>\n

4. DOING WRONG IS ALWAYS BAD:<\/strong> No matter how many times I see others cut corners to get what they want, I know the creator will never approve of me doing the same. There are lessons to be learnt from hardships, delays and setbacks in life - that he wants to teach me. They will equip me to stay <\/strong> successful when I get to the top.<\/em><\/p>\n

5. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH A HUMBLE BEGINNING:<\/strong> Even if others mock me and compare me to a younger or less educated person who they claim is doing better than me, I will NEVER let that make me play catch up with anyone. Success comes in stages. My path will be different from that traveled by others. That is the way the world works - each of us is unique, and we will therefore naturally follow our unique paths in life. <\/p>\n

6. BE WORTHY OF SUPPORT:<\/strong> So long as you do the above (1 to 5), never<\/strong> feel ashamed to ask for - and accept - help or support from trusted others. Understand that when you're in an environment dominated by wrong doers, you're likely to get ZERO breaks as an entrepreneur<\/u><\/em>. Your counterparts in better regulated societies will often have LESS stifling circumstances to deal with. <\/p>\n

For instance some may have access to unemployment checks and other forms of social security to protect their families. Depending on what part of the world you're in, you may not have those \"cushions\"<\/strong>. <\/p>\n

Genuine offers of support and help from people who appreciate your honest dedication to your purpose will therefore under such a situation, be your<\/strong> own social security safety net. Do NOT let anyone make you feel guilty for using it!<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

NB:<\/em><\/strong> Those who succumb to the impulse (or prompting of others) to do wrong<\/strong> in order to support their families, fail to understand this 6th philosophy. <\/em><\/p>\n

7. GRATITUDE:<\/strong> I know enough to be grateful for the gift of life, and the opportunity to go out each new day and do more to achieve my set goal. It's a great blessing from the creator that one must acknowledge. If others choose to focus on what they do not yet have, I refuse to let them infect me their negative failure-focused<\/strong> mentality<\/em>.<\/p>\n

SUMMARY<\/strong><\/p>\n

The above are a few guiding philosophies that keep me tuned towards doing right all the time, even when I see people seemingly making more progress from doing wrong. I'm stronger, smarter and more fulfilled as a result<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

It is worthwhile to note, that when eventually you achieve success the right and honorable way, those who gossiped about you, and\/or heaped insults on you, may deny ever doing so<\/u><\/em>, and turn around to announce how they also helped you!<\/p>\n

Don't get upset when it happens.<\/strong> It's the twisted way of the world. If you feel hurt, that\u2019s because you are not<\/u><\/strong> one of those who act in that manner <\/em>. This makes you a superior being.<\/strong> Great minds like you<\/strong>, must appreciate that those people only play their roles, to better prepare you <\/strong>, for the success you are destined to achieve. <\/p>\n

So, let them!<\/p>\n

Final Words :<\/strong> This post is not a self-righteous rant. It is instead a wake up call of sorts for every responsible adult to do more<\/strong> of what is right and less (indeed NOTHING) <\/strong>of what is wrong, so as to make society progress sustainably. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[This post is based on excerpts from an original piece that was published online by Tayo Solagbade as a PDF download on his Facebook profile on 9th May 2012] No. Under NO circumstances is it right, to do wrong, in order to fulfill one's obligations. Any thinking being knows this. Yet, some do it. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-development"],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1251,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1161"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1165,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1161\/revisions\/1165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tayosolagbade.com\/sdnuggets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}